Schizophrenia

Perfection - is actually used to designate a range of diverse, if often kindred, concepts. These concepts have historically been addressed in a number of discrete disciplines, notably mathematics, physics, chemistry, ethics, aesthetics, ontology and theology.


Vanity - is the excessive belief in one's own abilities or attractiveness to others. In many religions vanity is considered a form of self-idolatry, in which one rejects God for the sake of one's own image, and thereby becomes divorced from the graces of God.

"Which do you prefer?"

Will you choose something which is concrete or real? Or do you prefer going beyond reality just to satisfy your deepest desires?


Are you willing to defy the laws or will you master the disciplines? Which Ever you choose will greatly affect your way of living..


The indulgence of believing on something which is unreal isn't half bad.. Not unless you've tried to defy all the odds and began to question the existence of God..


Perfection, on the other hand. May also affect one's faith on God. Scientist for example, are beginning to play as God by creating clones for humans and other lifeforms..


They began to defy their own principles and the principles of God..


They are beginning to mix Vanity with Perfection.. There is this idea that "Inorder to achieve perfection, one must reach the level of God"..


But in my opinion, no one is meant to be perfect because even god isn't perfect..
We are just critters compared to him and he as well hasn't achieved perfection..


And if he has, a single soul will never suffer..


Peace will be achieved.. Violence will be eliminated..


But God chose to be imperfect to maintain a balance..

Light and Darkness,

Life and Death,

Peace and Chaos,

Love and Hatred..

Together they all make the world revolve..

NOTE: This is not my original composition, it was originally posted by:

Kristine Chantelle Asuncion[My One True Love]


I am looking at this ring on my left hand right now (…and as I always do, since the person I truly love placed it on my finger) - a symbol of commitment, a promise, true love, and the word “forever”.

I found myself lost and confused. I was stuck enduring the pain of a three-year relationship that was going nowhere… I ended it as I started dating, conversing with, and almost falling to, liars. A clairvoyant gave me no straight answer on who among the two persons would I choose. It then came to my mind that that’s just how relationships would be — everything would seem all good at the start ’til you could no longer patch things up… that the existence of the so-called “perfect relationship” in the presence of impediments is impossible… that the word “destiny” is a big joke blurted out by individuals as a product of their illusions or visions of euphoria.

Well, it’s because that was how things were in all the past relationships I’ve been. The scenario is a guy courts a girl (of course with his best foot forward), the girl falls for the guy, and the next thing you’ll know is that they’re on. Infatuation. Lust. And they term it “Love”? Or was it just something to show to the people around? Yet when you really need that person you are expecting to be there, not even a single message would seem to reach your phone. Just what do you hold on to? That “I love you” statement he last personally said about a year ago? You call that the sacrifice for true love? And so you lasted for years with that situation. What do you have now? Damn, you even barely see or reach that person. Then you start believing he’s the one because you lasted for years. You ask yourself what were the things you’ve shared in that span of time, and you can’t give even a single significant moment you’ve shared as an answer. You try to find happiness in those “moments” when you can really find nothing. You look pitiful trying to convince yourself that everything is great.

I kept quiet as some people inundate me that I should have guilt feelings with the life transition I had this year. They somehow piss me off. Here is the big difference. (It is no longer a predicament to me if some cannot comprehend; I suggest that they get a real life to live.)

It has been quite some time since I last opened my online instant messaging account. I had a bunch of offline messages but one sender seemed to have caught my attention. One of his messages excerpted lines from my online community profile about the type of person I would want to be with. What I wanted was simple. ”I want to love a guy who’d get me drunk to make me realize that it’s bad… someone who’d send me back after running away from home… someone who’d be there no matter what the circumstance may be.”

He is a person who has been a friend to me for quite some years now. Insights and fields of interest drew us closer. Just when I thought no one would take me and everything I would say seriously, someone who also had a tough year was there to listen. I do not consider him as one of my closest friends that time, but I found it really helpful to be sharing sentiments with him. One was there to help the other leave the clutters as the previous year closes. Both looked forward to a new start.

Time went on that as one tries to look out where to actually start, it felt like I was being pulled back to where I was as I opened the new chapter of my life — that spot with him. It was quite impossible if I would to look at the situation, but each day just draws him closer to me.

“Will you love me for what I am?” was one question that changed my life as I stated my answer. It was this instant that everything just felt great — not because my mind was being fooled by figments of imagination and fantasy, but because everything was real. I do not need to convince myself that things are true because they are in the eyes of whoever who would look at it.

Have you ever had that feeling that you could say that it’s forever right from the very start? That you do not just suppose, but YOU KNOW and YOU FEEL that it would work and would last? Because I do. And it was only with him that it felt this right.

Each day that comes just becomes a lot better than yesterday. The impossible became possible. My thoughts on true love were shaken. Now I know that such really does exist… that you do not have to make things work because love alone would make every thing work.

Now I know why the clairvoyant gave me no straight answer. It’s because the answer was never in the choices. I asked who, and all he said was “Go for the person who’d ask you to join him in matrimony.” And now, a ring is on me.

He changed her life… made it a lot better. He gave her inspiration to be at her best at each day. He placed that smile on her face that stays… when she walks, when she’s doing any thing, when she’s asleep. He is all she has ever wanted, all she has ever needed. He is the only person she’s bound to love for the rest of her life. He… is the person who placed this ring on my finger.



He… is Ed De Leon.

"Am I an angel sent from above? Or a condemned demon disguised to captivate your love?"

"Whoever am I? You'll have to figure that out for yourself.."


Given the name "Ed De Leon", I gained an identity and had the chance to live in this world..

I made my first glance of it and my first breath on the 25th day of May, year 1990..

I am the first born son of Mr. Nilo Manalansan De Leon and Mrs. Edna Dabu De Leon..

Both are citizens of Lubao, a small town in Pampanga which is a province in the Philippines..



"My Childhood"

Growing up for me isn't a problem, since my parents are both hard-working, everything I need is always beyond reach.. Clothes, Food and all my basic necessities.. I had it all..

As a kid, I grew up as an introvert, I never mingled with anyone.. Because something inside me tells me not to.. That I am different from everybody else.. That I am destined to do something that no one else has done before.. That's why I spent most of my time observing the things that a normal kid would not..

"I preferred reading books and understanding the aspects of life rather than playing.."

At an early age I began to wonder what is my purpose here on earth.. Will I create? Will I destroy? Or should I do both? Up to this time I'm still wondering on what I should do..



"My Adolescence"[Present]

Well, as a teenager, I've been through a lot.. My sanity has been raped by reality.. All the pain and suffering.. And the realization that life wasn't that easy made a huge hole in me..

I was free from my cage but it's like I wanted to go back to that cage, seeking comfort from what I have witnessed outside.. But I didn't..

I started standing on my own two feet keeping in mind that some time now, I would need to flap my wings and live on my own.. Not necessarily on my own but with the company of

Kristine Chantelle Asuncion,the one who holds my heart,

I found her along the way on my journey.. She gave me comfort.. She gave me love.. A kind of love that I have never had before..

And perhaps she's the answer to all my questions.. My destiny.. The reason of my existence..

"Life was never the same again when I met her.."

She gave me hope.. She gave my torch the spark that it needs for it to burn..

I love her with all my heart, body and soul..


"I dedicate everything I do to her.. I Love You Chantelle.."

[To be Continued]

“Too much sanity may be madness and the maddest of all, to see life as it is and not as it should be.”

-Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra



Maybe you're wondering what Schizophrenia means. Schizophrenia is basically a mental disorder characterized by abnormalities in the perception or expression of reality. It most commonly manifests as auditory hallucinations, paranoia or bizarre delusions, or disorganized speech and thinking with significant social or occupational dysfunction..

So why Schizophrenia? I chose Schizophrenia as a title for my blog because of the following reasons:

[1] This blog will serve as a containment unit for my thoughts no matter how unparalleled or obscure they are..

[2] It will act as a portal for you, the reader, to know what's going on inside my mind. Either on its sanity or insanity..

[3] To further express myself and my sick ideas..

[4] It will also be an outlet for my derailed emotions..




That's all there is to it. It's gonna be a hell of a wild ride, better buckle up..